One day... I have this intra personal conversation, with my my own self (so obvious).
Me : How are you?
Me2 : Not so very good.
Me : Hold up, are you sick?
Me2 : Sakit? Nope. Well, yeah, kind of. Beberapa hari terakhir ini selalu mimisan, baik yang 'ngalir' seperti air keran, adakalanya cuma seadanya, but still, mimisan.
Me : Stress?
Me2 : I think so..
And then.. Silence. No more conversation after that. Then, I called her to have this simple conversation.
Me2 : Hi..
Me : Well, hello there. How's nose?
Me2 : Still bleeding. Sekarang amandelnya lagi meradang.
Me : Forget about work, forget about romance, forget about things. Focus with your own life. you have the right to do that you know.
Me2 : Well, I'm focusing right now. You know what..
Me : Ah, ya ya. I know what. And.. for how long?
Me2 : *nose bleed*
Save by the bleeding nose. And then, a couple days later.
Me : How's nose?
Me2 : Panas dalam rupanya *sambil minum larutan penyegar*.
Me : Oh..... With you know what, for how long?
Me2 : Do you have to ask about that again, Me?
Me : So is it a bad time for you to talk about it? Because from what I saw, there will be never a good time for to talk about it..
Me2 : Why? You want to know about it, sooooo bad. Why?
Me : Because I am, you! That's why.
Me2 : Oh...
And then, I'm walking away. Walking away from everything and thinking that everything will be okay. Like usual.
Me2 : I'm sorry..
Me : For what? *sambil angkat muka dari Bakuman* *recently read* *too cool to ignore kind of comic*
Me2 : For making you worried. Sampai kapan ya? Well, I have no idea. What do you think?
Me : You're not a popular, beautiful, sexy, smokin' hot girl you know.. And you ruin everything. Every single thing. And you know what? That's not good.
Me2 : I know.. I'm a bad person, am I?
Me : No. I'm not saying that..
Me2 : Am I a bad person?
Me : Well, yes. Too greedy. You don't even know what you want. All you want is, everyone, everything! That's greedy my friend. You have to earn it. But that doesn't mean that you can take every single thing! Why you have to want everything? Why you have to point you finger on everything? Why?
Me2 : I know.. I know that very well.
Me : Then why you doing this?
Me2 : I just don't know what I want..
Me : Shallow reason you have there, girl. Too shallow..
Me2 : Is it?
Me : What ever. Go away, you interupting me.. I want to read this comic in peace! Moritaka is my new favourite character.
Me2 : Okay.. Thank you for your time.
After that, again.. Silence. No more talking. No more exchanging opinions about everyhting. So, I'm walking away. From every single thing. Is that help? Nope. It will never help. Do I have to face it? No. I choose not to. I'm done.
